You’re probably thinking “wow she is insane!” from the title. Or that I’m an intense craft mom with endless Pinterest activities and sensory bins for my kids. Or a set curriculum for summer or I start homeschooling my kids at 18 months so they will be the top of their class in college.
Nope nope nope!
I just don’t let my kids have any (and I mean none – zero!) time on screens or watching TV.
That means no shows, no iPads, no time on my phone – nada. Nothing!
And they play all day, mostly happily, with their toys. No crying and screaming about screens.
Yes there are exceptions and we will get there!
Let me take you back about two years to why my philosophy changed on screentime. I should also be very transparent that we are pretty anti-technology for our kids, and also for ourselves when we can be. Their school has no technology and if they introduced iPads (I’m confident that will never happen – they don’t even have smart screens. They use whiteboards. It’s our dream school!) we would pull them immediately. We are that serious about wanting them to live without the distractions of technology.
We don’t have a Google Home or Amazon Alexa. I don’t do anything voice enabled on my oven (why?!) or control my washer from my phone. I don’t think those things actually help and everything that tracks you is super creepy – this is coming from someone who used to work on websites and in digital marketing. Marketers know everything about you. Every website you visit. Every item you buy. Where you go. It’s just creepy and honestly I crave the days of landlines only!
But I digress – back to kids.
About two years ago we decided to let our kids watch 15 minutes a day of a show. We would do the one show and that would be it – or so I thought. They were 4 and 2.
What actually happened is that my son (the 2 year old) was so obsessed about the screentime he would ask “is it time for a show yet” ALL DAY. Until we watched it. Then proceed to beg and cry THE ENTIRE REST OF THE DAY for more. The 15 minutes wasn’t enough for him and it was clear he didn’t understand why the addictive thing had to be turned off. He is a very focused person (he will play with Legos for 3 hours without our help) and he just couldn’t let it go. So after a few hellish days of him crying all day for screentime I cut it out.
It took about 3 days and then both my kids forgot all about it. And now they NEVER ask for TV. Like never. Because they know it isn’t an option.
They amuse themselves. They play together. They go outside. They color endlessly and we take lots of trips to the library for new books.
Whenever people see my kids playing or reading they are shocked they are so compliant and happy to just play without screens. And let me tell you something – if you removed screens completely, your kids would do the same thing after that initial detox. I truly believe that all kids have this fun and amazing imagination that is just hidden when they are entranced by the TV. I also found out once that a babysitter was letting them watch YouTube and she has never returned – we tell all babysitters now that the kids can’t watch anything, use their phones, etc.
Plus kids shows are truly crap and I don’t want my kids listening to the whining or bad behavior with a lot of these shows. Have you ever listened to Fancy Nancy? She makes me want to scream! Anything that encourages whining or complaining or being a bad friend/sibling/child is an immediate no.
Our house is happy, playful, and we spend a lot of time together. I realized today how lucky I am to have my kids – they are truly loving and happy and the best kids. I am so happy we made the choice to do things differently.
And now the exceptions!
When we are on a plane – anything goes. You can watch whatever, as long as we are in the airport or flying (whatever means whatever I have downloaded to the iPad or is appropriate on the seat back entertainment).
We also do family movie night every Friday night. This allows us to have time together to watch a show and relax – it isn’t just a babysitter. Here are some of our favorite movies –
- Cars
- Robin Hood
- Winnie the Pooh
- Miracle
- Planes Fire and Rescue
- Encanto
- White Christmas
We also watch sports together but the key is it’s together! We watch football or Formula 1 or hockey, basically whatever teams my husband wants to watch. And honestly my kids will sit on the couch for max ten minutes and then go do something else. It is just something fun we can all do together.
Screens have really taken over our lives – I get so sad when I go to a playground and moms and dads are just staring at their phones like zombies. I know we all need a break but it’s too much. There was a mom pushing her daughter in a swing (probably 8 months old) and the girl was smiling and the mom was on her phone, oblivious to the whole thing.
Frequently I look around and I’m the only mom not just looking at a phone. I am tired too – I don’t want to sound like I’m out of touch or just special/lucky – but more time on your phone will not make your day better.
Do we want our kids to remember us this way? Do we want to remember our life this way? No amount of photo and video will make up for missing experiences as they are happening. I know that the pictures on my phone just go to Google Photos and then it’s hard to ever find them again…that moment we have with our kids will never come back.
I’m not saying this to guilt you or make you feel bad. But I do think we need to be aware of how much damage these screens can do. I don’t plan on giving my kids smartphones until at least 13, and maybe even later. They will also not be getting their own iPads or laptops, and NOTHING will ever be used in their bedrooms. Nothing. They can use our desktop where I am now 🙂 (My daughter does use it to type a family newsletter!)
If you want to just read how insane screens are I recommend some of the following:
