I heard this song a few months ago and it really spoke to me, so before I get into the full post, here are the lyrics….
Once I fall in love then I’ll be happy
But then you fall in love and there’s still a hole
Once I get some money it’ll all be easy
But then you get that money, you still feel broke
Once I get a little older, I won’t worry
Then you get older and it don’t feel like it should
I’m thinking once I learn to grow right where I’m planted
Maybe that’s when life starts getting good
Once I get a car that don’t stall in the morning
I can make it anywhere I want, just wait
But I can see it right now sitting in my driveway
Afraid if I take it out, I’ll chip the paint
Once I get a house that I can hang my hat on
I bet I’ll want to build a bigger one if I could, yeah
I’m thinking, once I learn to grow right where I’m planted
Maybe that’s when life starts getting good
My husband and I graduated from high school 11 years ago. Then it was college, then medical school, then residency. It has truly felt like we’ve been waiting for “real life” to begin for the last decade. When all our friends were finishing college and getting jobs, we moved and started an even longer education journey.
We have lived away from home for 7 years (10 for me if you count college out of state). We have gone through a journey that’s extremely stressful on both of us. I’ve spent dozens of nights and days alone. There were weeks we didn’t even see each other.
My husband has counseled families at the end of life and then come home to a small baby. We have traveled for *every* holiday or spent them alone. We’ve had to deal with emergencies with no support system (hello getting your tires slashed…) and navigated making all new friends.
We stopped “waiting for tomorrow” once we became parents. Because truly tomorrow is never guaranteed. My husband sees this everyday. He has told parents their child is dead. He has told wives their husbands are dead. (Both things happened on Christmas Day – can you even imagine…)
You might call me morbid but we just don’t even worry about the tragic “what ifs” anymore. Because in so many instances there is nothing you can do. So take the moments now and make the memories every day. If anything I think COVID-19 has showed how time is a gift (for everyone!) and not to take any moments for granted. Time with the people you love is the most important currency.
This year we decided that we’re not going to delay gratification anymore. If we want to take a trip, we’re doing it. We are going to the park more and hitting as many storytimes as we can. If we want to treat ourselves, we’re spending the money. Obviously we are being responsible and saving for retirement, emergencies, and future college. But once that’s all gone (thank you automation every month!!!), we have given ourselves permission to do what we want.
It might sound frivolous and trust me this is a true 180 for my husband. When we met he was extremely frugal (he literally had never had a piece of new clothing – they were all from garage sales or hand me downs). But I think his line of work has shown us both that spending time together is what counts. We will pay for someone to clean, order things online to save time, and outsource other tasks so we can spend time together as a family.
I encourage you to read this post from Chris Loves Julia for even more on this topic. One day everything is great, the next it literally burn downs. It’s just so tragic how nothing is promised.
Our residency journey ends next month and it will be crazy and bittersweet. We’ve been on this path for so long. I can’t wait to see my husband more, spend time with family, and make new memories together. But honestly I can look back with happy memories – especially the last 3 years in Lexington. They have been some of the best years of our adult life.
So. if you’re reading this, don’t wait for tomorrow. A new job. A bigger house to decorate. A better car. If you want to do something, don’t wait. Tomorrow is never promised.
